When Mike met Sully
by Starkid191
Summary: When Mike met Sully...he hated him. But it was a typical Jane Austen affair, and worst enemies are always destined to be the greatest couples. A selection of short stories, stretching from MU to Monsters Inc. and beyond. Written for the pure fun of it, but reviews welcome. Rated T for possibly suggestive chapters. Chapter Three: Pregnant?
1. Five Times

_So this is a complete crack fic, written purely because, after watching MU, I now totally ship Mike and Sully. So here is chapter one - 5 Times. Enjoy!_

* * *

The first time Mike kissed Sully, it was a complete accident.

Mostly.

The first time Sully kissed Mike, it was slightly drunk, sloppy accident.

Kind of.

Both were complete accidents, but with a hint of 'who-is-this-incredibly-sexy-guy-who-keeps-appeari ng-and-oh-we-have-to-share-a-room-now?'. Both were slightly awkward, teeth bashing moments, stolen whilst the other wasn't looking.

For example, Mike had merely tripped – slipping on Art's hair gel before tripping over Archie, smashing into the coffee table, and face planting on to James P. Sullivan's lips. James P. Sullivan's big, blue, squashy lips, so softy and smooth and….

Not like it had been planned or anything.

And Sully had just had a few too many beers, and had come home slightly tipsy, and had had to hide in the cupboard under the stairs so that Ms. Squibbles didn't find him.

It wasn't like he _knew_ that Mike was in there…

And the third time…

The third time had been hot and heady and full of passion, and as much as both of them tried to convince themselves that they were drunk and it meant nothing (after all, Terry and Terri had been quietly canoodling in the corner), they couldn't deny that there had been something there.

Something exciting, something new. Something that, if allowed to continue, could ruin their friendship, and their reputations – or at least, what was left of them anyway. Something that was pushed down deep, out of the way, with a note marked 'forgotten'.

Which, of course, implied that it wasn't.

Which, in turn, led to the fourth time. It was slow and full of tension – mutual feelings suddenly released after weeks, months – even years- of build up. Full of fumbling fingers and whispered promises. The fourth time, they couldn't deny that this was no accident. This was purposeful. There was undeniable chemistry between the two monsters – the deep kisses were proof of _that_. Mike didn't mind Sully's molting fur so much when it was covering his pillow, and Sully didn't mind that Mike was so small when he was just the right size to hold in both hands.

The fifth time was different. It wasn't needy or desperate. It wasn't stolen kisses in the corner, or drunken mistakes on the couch. It started light, nothing but pure love and tingly kisses. Then it deepened, spreading out into passion and love and ecstasy. The fifth time was perfect, just the two of them, kissing in the dark, melting into each other, just the two of them, the two of them and Art, and…

...And _Art_?!

'Hey guys. So wassup?'

* * *

_Couldn't resist including Art. Because there is nothing more creepy than making out with your secret boyfriend, and looking up to see Art. Next chapter should be up soon - please review!_


	2. Curtains

_DISCLAIMER: IDNOMI(BIWID)_

_Thanks to everybody who reviewed :) I honestly wasn't expecting such a good response. I'm not too happy with this one, but I never am, and I have other ideas which I want to write up, so they'll come soon. Enjoy (and review!)_

* * *

It was official, Sully thought grumpily.

Less than a year ago, he and Mike had kissed (properly) for the first time.

Nine months ago, they had told the rest of Oozma Kappa that they were dating. Or, at least, Art and Don had walked in on them snogging, and it'd been kind of hard to deny it.

Around six months ago, had openly admitted that they were dating.

Three days ago, they'd officially done it. They'd moved in together.

And now they were curtain shopping.

"So which do prefer?" Mike asked, holding up to almost identically coloured pieces of material. "Should we go candyfloss creme, or should we go rose?"

"For the last time," groaned Sully, "I don't care what goddamn colour curtains we get! And why do they have to be pink?"

"No, you're right." Mike answered absentmindedly, "Pink clashes with your fur. Maybe lilac. Or a nice fuschia?"

"Are you even listening to anything that I'm saying?"

"Of course, dear. Now, I was thinking of a purple and mauve pattern for the sofa. Thoughs?"

Sully sighed. "I want to buy a unicorn."

"Yes, you're right. Purple isn't the best colour. We should go maroon instead.

"Perhaps we should take a holiday to the moon this year. Let's invite Randall."

"Yes, I completely agree. Maroon it is." Mike said decisively. "Now all we need is a bath mat.."

"Unbelievable." Sully muttered as his partner trundled off down the aisle, chattering to himself. "Absolutely unbelievable."


	3. Pregnant?

_So, some news from Kendal._

_Various film crews suddenly seem to be using the town and the surrounding area. Aren't we popular? Jack Whitehall and one of the kids from Bad Education were spotted being filmed with a tow truck and a learner driver outside Pride Gym. I know, I know, you don't believe me, but yes. The BBC are using a location that isn't Cardiff. This ex-Special Ops retired Policeman cornered a robber and shouted at him before someone told him that it was actually a film and if he would please continue on to the dentists and stop beating up the extras that would be welcomed, thank you very much. A mystery film crew are camped out by the police station and are making bacon butties. Also Autumnwatch'll be turning up in some local wildlife reserve too. Goddamnit Chris Packham._

_Meanwhile in national news, Atlantis started. Yay. It's awesome. The Wrong Mans also started and it's actually quite funny. There's another series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and Channel 4 is showing Agents of SHIELD. Mock the Week is on, as well as Have I Got News for You, and upcoming BBC dramas include Doctor Who 50th and Christmas Special, Sherlock Series 3 (maybe), and some new one called The Musketeers, which actually look quite good. Also, Strictly started and actually has celebrities that you've heard of, including Deborah Meaden as of Dragons Den, and the black haired one from the Hairy Bikers._

_But, of course, the main news story of the week is this: Lizzie Briggs wrote a new chapter. Drill as usual – I don't own Monsters Inc and this is pure crack because I have a seriously warped brain. Enjoy (and sorry for the wait. And the excessive use of ellipses)._

* * *

"Sully dear," Mike began nervously, his voice trembling, "I have something to tell you. I'm pregnant."

"Um..what?"

"I'm pregnant. And you're the father. Well it's either you or Celia, but that seems kind of unlikely, so I-"

"Hold up." Sully interrupted, holding up a big blue hand. "You're pregnant?"

"Well, yes." Mike replied in all-too-familiar tone. "Isn't it obvious? Look how round I am! Tell me," Sully's beloved husband whispered. "Does the bump make my bum look big?"

"Um, no." Sully answered, staring at his partner's round form. "But let's get back to the subject here. You're pregnant?"

"Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you!"

"But you're a guy."

"There's no need for such gender discrimination. Maybe I want to be a mother. From now on, you must call me Lauretta."

"But you can't be a mother!" Sully cried exasperatedly. "And why Lauretta?"

"I want to have babies! And stop oppressing me."

"I'm not 'oppressing you' It's a scientific fact! You can't have babies. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate – in a cardboard box?"

"I can have children if I want to – and like it or not, I'm going to!" Mike yelled, his hormones already in turmoil. "Jesus, _James_, I really hope you're not the father."

"Not the father?!" Sully roared, "But who else is going t-" His lips moved frantically as he tried to remember the earlier part of the conversation. "Wait…Celia?! You've been having an affair with Celia?!"

"I don't want to talk about that now." Mike said as he carefully waved the subject into the distance. "I want to talk about _us_. I'm pregnant – with possibly your baby – maybe it's time to take the next big step."

"Next big step? What step? We're already married!" Cried Sully, fully panicking now.

" The next big step with us. I want to show you who I _truly_ am." Mike said, pressing his body to Sully's, and staring into his eyes.

"Who you – what…but…"

Mike stepped away, hand reaching to his forehead. "Remember, no matter what happens, I still love you. You, are my sunshine. My one true love. Youa re the moon to my stars, and I will never forsake you."

Sully could only gape at the sudden burst of poetic emotion, watching as Mike scrabbled for something above his ear. His fingers grasped a hidden zip, peeling the skin away to reveal a tuft of grey hair, followed by hideous glasses.

"So Mr. Sullivan," drawled Roz. "I believe we're married."

Sully screamed.

…And woke in a flail of arms and tangled sheets. Mike opened his eye blearily.

"Sully dear, are you okay?"

Sully breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down. Panic attacks and shock, whilst a dangerous side effect of working with children, were not good. "I…I'm fine."

"You know what fine stands for. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional." Mike paused and frowned when Sully didn't laugh. "Are you sure you're okay, honey? Is there anything I can do to…" He sidled closer, eyes shifting downwards. "…make it better?"

Sully leapt out of bed. "Um, no. I'm good. You, er, go back to sleep. I'm going to go get water. Yes, water." He muttered franticly to himself as he left the room.

Mike rolled his eye and turned back over. Sully being in the kitchen gave him a chance to steal the duvet, and he wasn't going to pass on such an excellent opportunity.

It got considerably weirder over the next couple of days when he found Sully stealing his urine to test multiple pregnancy kits, and screaming before fleeing the room whenever he caught sight of Celia, Roz, and their little newborn son.

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_Kudos to anyone who caught all those references - I couldn't help it. So - review? And suggest a new topic?_

_(Also, badberry123 , I didn't hear anything more from you. We still on? I just received one PM, and you said you were going to expand on you plotline? My PM did break for a bit, so...)_


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